Green Bag Begins GMUSL Bobblehead Line

Parker, Krauss First Professors To Be Immortalized

By: Cullensom Wonells

Posted: 4/1/05

George Mason Law School professor Ross Davies, Editor of the Green Bag Law Journal, announced today that, due to his frustration with the lack of humor in recent Supreme Court opinions, he is discontinuing the line of Supreme Court Justice bobblehead dolls, and replacing them with dolls based on the professors of Mason Law. Prototypes for the first two bobbleheads were released, and feature Professors Jeffrey Parker and Michael Krauss.

In an effort to promote subscriptions to the Green Bag, a self-proclaimed "Entertaining Journal of Law," Davies had previously issued a set of heavily detailed bobbleheads depicting justices of the Supreme Court including Chief Justice William Rehnquist, and Associate Justices John Paul Stevens, Sandra Day O'Connor and the upcoming, Antonin Scalia. Davies commented that the current bench was no longer keeping readers entertained, giving up the puns and jokes of old.

"They are just taking things way to seriously now," said Davies. "I thought bobbleheads would loosen them up, but apparently they weren't enough."

Davies chose to begin his new series of Mason Law bobbleheads with first-year professors since they were the most visible to students. Not diminishing the hard work and respect of the upper class professors, he noted that not everybody gets the opportunity to have them for class, while every student was required to take torts, contracts, property and criminal law. He further explained that it seemed only appropriate for Professors Parker and Krauss to be the first to have their images pasted onto the bobbling figurines that will constantly taunt students with memories of the tortures of theSocratic Method.

Similar to that with the Supreme Court Bobbleheads, a great deal of planning and design went into both professor prototypes, including details specific to their legal careers. "I would say I spent at least five minutes coming up with ideas for each one," Davies noted. "I tried to capture many of the elements that each colleague is known for."

The Professor Parker doll is wearing the jeans and sport coat in which he often appears in class. He also appears standing on both Evidence and Civil Procedure textbooks, two of the classes he has taught at GMUSL. While he has also taught Criminal Law, Dispute Resolution, Federal Sentencing Law and Litigation Practice, it was conceded by Davies that to include all of them would have been overkill.

"If I had added all of the books, not to mention supplements, that [Parker] requires or suggests for his classes, the doll would be four inches taller," Davies explained. "That would just be ridiculous."

The unplugged microphone in Professor Parker's left hand signifies his preference for student's to "Speak Up!" Never having been accused of speaking with a feeble tone, he manages to fill the silence in even the deepest corners of Room 120-121. Though he currently allows students in his Criminal Law class to use the amplifying device, the microphone at his feet suggests his personal motto of "Microphones? Microphones? We don't need no stinking microphones!"

Finally, in Professor Parker's left hand is a copy of his Fall 2004 Evidence exam. Unfortunately, height restrictions and design elements forced Davies to abridge the exam to only the first fourteen essay questions, thus leaving out the second half of the three hour exam.

For the second new bobblehead, Professor Michael Krauss, Davies went to similar lenthgs to ensure an accurate portrayal. Krauss is shown wearing the same pink shirt and red tie from his faculty photo. He is standing on textbooks for Torts and Professional Responsibility, two of his most prominent courses at Mason Law. While the Torts book seems much thinner than the one assigned for the required class, Davies attributes the smaller size to the fact that chapters on Strict Liability and Comparative Negligence had been appropriately removed.

Also, though the books do not individually open, he assures that the bookmark hanging from the Torts book is marking U.S. v. Carroll Towing and the often overemphasized Hand Formula, a necessary citation on Krauss' exams. Finally atop the stack of books is a tome on Labradors, the dogs that Professor Krauss and family breed.

In his right hand, Bobble-Krauss is holding Legal Ethics in a Nutshell, the supplemental book he co-authored with Professor Ronald Rotunda, symbolizing his other major area of interest and classroom instruction. In his left hand, the Orioles pennant emphasizes both his love of Baltimore baseball, and his utter hatred for all things pinstripes.

Although Parker and Krauss are the only two dolls crafted thus far, Davies assures that no one will be left out. Prototypes of dolls for Professors Michelle Boardman, Steven Eagle, Maxwell Stearns and Michael Green are expected by early next year.